Thought for the day: a metal syllogism
1. In astrophysics, the elements consist of: Hydrogen, Helium, and Metals. (The relative abundance of elements in the cosmos being something like: Hydrogen 95%, Helium 4%, and Everything Else, 1% — thus, the "everything else" category is lumped under a single name.)
2. "The most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity" — Harlan Ellison.
It therefore follows that stupidity is either Helium, or Metal. We can test the former option by saying saying "Helium is stupid" — which, on the face of it, is pretty damn stupid. Which leads me to conclude that the other possibility is the only reasonable one. Stupidity is clearly Metallic.
(Unless it's dark matter.)
In next week's thrilling episode we examine: how many angels can dance on the head of a pin, and on the basis of this observation, whether divine beings are Bosons or Fermions.
Comments
I think Ellison already alluded to this when he stated "God is an Iron".
It's interesting that although stupidity represents less than 1% of the total matter in the universe it is so highly concentrated on this little rock we call home. Perhaps Earth is a strange attractor?
Posted by: David Haynes | August 27, 2006 2:02 AM
I think Ellison already alluded to this when he stated "God is an Iron".
Is that a typo or is there some joke I'm missing?
Posted by: Johan Larson | August 27, 2006 2:11 AM
Not a typo, so blame it on my obtuse sense of humour.
Of course, in checking the facts, I have the reference wrong. Spider Robinson wrote "God is an Iron". Sigh! Note to self: google first, post second.
I was thinking along the path "If God is an iron, stupidity may also be a metal."
Posted by: David Haynes | August 27, 2006 2:34 AM
Did you know Spider Robinson misspelled that title? It should have been "God is an Eiron".
Also, it turns out that any number of angels you care to name can dance simultaneously on the head of a pin -- angels don't obey Fermi-Dirac statistics. If they obeyed Bose-Einstein statistics, however, that would make God a fermion, since angels mediate between God and the universe. It's therefore more plausible that angels obey Pseudo-Dionysius statistics, and are computronic.
Posted by: Michael Brazier | August 27, 2006 5:32 AM
Metal and Helium. All I can say is "Rush".
Posted by: Tim Hall | August 27, 2006 11:32 AM
Metal (music) is stupid. Presumably, heavy metal is even stupider.
Posted by: Arthur D. Hlavaty | August 27, 2006 2:10 PM
Abundances (by mass) are more like 73% Hydrogen, 25% Helium and 2% metals.
Not that this detracts from your main point!
Posted by: Dave Clements | August 27, 2006 2:12 PM
I think that quote is more widely attributed to Frank Zappa:
"Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe." - From "The Real Frank Zappa Book."
Perhaps Stupidity is what dark matter is made up of... Stupidions.
Posted by: Greg Evans | August 27, 2006 5:38 PM
Interesting. Metals in general may be stupid. Rust never sleeps, and exhibits low cunning when attacking the interior of my land-rover's chassis. if metals are stupid, then it must be the oxgen that gives rust its strategic advantage. Oxygen, I think, must be cleverer than hydrogen and helium both.
Posted by: soubriquet | August 27, 2006 6:26 PM
Angels are clearly bosons: an infinite number of them can coexist (not dance) on the point (not head) of a pin) (BEC) and they are, functionally, CARRIERS of that mighty force, THE WRATH OF JEHOVAH.
Now if we could just figure out what virtual angels are.
Posted by: Dick Thompson | August 27, 2006 10:18 PM
Obviously. Metals are dense.
Posted by: ajay | August 29, 2006 1:00 PM
A little experiment:
1) Inhale some helium.
2) Say "helium is stupid."
Case closed.
Posted by: cirby | August 30, 2006 3:46 AM