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Aten't ded yet

Just a reminder that I'm doing vacation-like things in Tokyo this week and next, being a guest of honour at a Japanese SF convention the following weekend, and doing more vacation-y things the week after that. Hal Duncan and Elizabeth Bear have the mike and the soapbox; my presence here is going to be limited to short bulletins rather than long essays for the duration.

Meanwhile, from elsewhere on the internet: an illustrated tutorial on the subject of cooking bacon with a machine gun.

(When I get home I so need to do my photo-essay on duct-taping tofu to a cat ...)



"being a guest of honour at a Japanese SF convention the following weekend"

Awesome. Have a great time! And don't get frightened by all of the Laundry Dojins and slash-fic. They mean it in the nicest way.


It's my belief that the machine-gun would be operated in an improper manner in order that the barrel would be properly proved for this new task, requiting the maintenance of a different finish to the barrel from the specified standard.

Tests have also been carried out with a Vickers gun, but the tea produced tastes horrible.


Dave, please note that they used an inner wrap of alumninum foil. Gun oil doesn't taste good.


This is, I would like to point out, an exceedingly expensive way to cook bacon. The rounds that the machine gun in question, the MG42, fires will run more than half a dollar, sometimes more than a dollar, per round. Combine this with the 1200-1500 rounds per minute firing rate of the the MG42 and, well you do the math.


Greg, I surmise that the cooked bacon was a side-effect of the desire to shoot off a box of ammo, not the primary cause.


Naah some people believe you can solve any problem with firearms. I'm going for primary cause :)


Tofu on a cat? Charlie! I never would have thought you'd stoop so low as to copy John Scalzi.

He is the king of bacon and all cat and tape related tomfoolery should be ran by him for approval


mymatedave@7: I disapprove of course. The only suitable type of tofu for this is aburaage, and it would be a terrible waste.


"Greg, I surmise that the cooked bacon was a side-effect of the desire to shoot off a box of ammo, not the primary cause."

Indeed, that is a safe assumption, if you are going to be shooting anyway, might as well use the hot barrel for something.

I was wondering just how long a burst was needed to get the barrel heated to the point where the bacon would cook, so I followed the link back to the posting on reddit and got my answer- 250 rounds (though the author speculated that he could have managed with only a 150 round burst).

I wouldn't be surprised if the day comes when, during a trip to Mars, some joker tries to do some impromptu cooking on the waste heat radiator. Provided, that is, he can figure out how to place the food and retrieve it without becoming part of what is being cooked.


To Greg @ 9:

Of course someone is going to attempt to cook dinner on the engine during a trip to Mars. Never underestimate human inventiveness regarding food preparation.

There is a fine tradition of using the equipment-in-use to heat din-din, from popping rations into the engine compartment (from WWI forward) to silk-screen printing dudes running their frozen dinners through the ink-cure baking unit for cooking and fine surface caramellization. (I have personal mis-spent youth experience with both)

More to the point, when is someone going to build a cooking challenge show around such scenarios?


Congratulations on your two Hugo nominations!

BEST NOVELLA: "Palimpsest" by Charles Stross (Wireless)

BEST NOVELETTE:"Overtime" by Charles Stross ( 12/09)


Seconded, congrats on the two nominations. A good chance of landing at least one I'd say.

Now, which Dr Who gets the vote...


First rule of machine-gunnery: make sure $GOVT is paying for the ammunition. My best man commanded an MG platoon, a weekend's shooting measured >10K rds of ammunition.

Second rule of machine-gunnery: get help to carry it. A box of 200 rounds weighs 5kg (and lasts between one and two minutes); the gun weighs about 12kg; a tripod, two spare barrels, and sight set weighs another 15kg. Break down the gun, tripod, and about half an hour's ammunition (say 5400 rds) between three blokes, and the answer is $HEAVY.

Third rule of machine-gunnery: use the carrying handle. If it's dark, and you reach forward to pick it up by the handle and miss, there may be a degree of swearing. If it can cook bacon, you can guess what it does to skin...


Gun barrels are proved.

So are cast-iron pans.

The type of oil used is very different.



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This page contains a single entry by Charlie Stross published on April 2, 2010 2:01 PM.

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