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Press Release

Edinburgh, UK, April 1, 2011 — Cheezburger (, the Internet publisher best known for popularizing LOLcats, FAILS, and other Internet memes, today announced it has acquired Charlie's Diary, the authoritative and amusing weblog of science fiction author Charles Stross.

Created by Hugo-winning SF author Charles Stross, Charlie's Diary is dedicated to giving people an overdose of the florid imagination of a science fiction writer who gets bored easily and has too much time on his hands. Over the past decade Charlie's Diary has trolled the internet for lulz at the expense of space enthusiasts, trekkies, sad-faced clowns, and proletarian chew-toys, in the process delivering a spectacular Google pagerank and accreting a vibrant community of snarky nerds, general-purpose pedants and drive-by spammers.

"I'm excited to see the Charlie's Diary community joining the Cheezburger community," said Ben Huh, CEO and founder of Cheezburger. "Since Cheezburger is the playground of choice for millions of Internet culture fans, the addition of regular commenters such as Jonathon Vos Post and Heteromeles is a natural complement for our community. Now, in addition to delivering 5 minutes of happiness through I Can Has Cheezburger?, FAIL Blog, Memebase, and The Daily What, we can host interminable flame wars about whether ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny and the prospects for saving the environment by installing a molten thorium salt reactor in every basement."

"Thanks to the amazing community, Charlie's Diary has become one of the Internet's top five science fiction weblogs," said Stross. "It's taken a decade and I'm all burned up, so I've finally decided to monetize you bitches and cash out." To aid in this process Stross intends to throw the gates open for guest bloggers to contribute their content for a small consideration. "Ben Huh is enthusiastic about providing user analytics and behavioural advertising for Charlie's Diary, and we expect this will enable us to recoup some of the investment in time and energy the blog has cost me during the ten year bootstrap process." Charlie will continue to market his science fiction under the brand name Charles Stross™ for the next five years, at which point the Charles Stross™ brand will be wholly transfered to the Cheezburger Network intellectual property portfolio and the author formerly known as Stross will rebrand and launch under a non-conflicting identity.

Media Reaction

The media response to word of the Cheezburger Network's expansion into the world of science fiction blogging has been mixed."This is just the kind of move you'd expect of that back-stabbing mercenary Stross," said John Scalzi, "selling his reader community down the river. We'd never sell Ghlaghghee to Cheezburger Inc.," he added, stroking his unfeasibly hairy pussy: "now where did I tape the bacon?" Teresa Neilsen Hayden was more sanguine: "we at Making Light are open to reasonable offers, as long as they are compatible with our coverage of hamsters." The bacterial colony formerly known as Peter Watts declined to comment.

About Stross

Charles Stross, 46, is a full-time science fiction writer and resident of Edinburgh, Scotland. The winner of two Locus Reader Awards and winner of the 2005 and 2010 Hugo awards for best novella, Stross's works have been translated into over twelve languages. He is also the proprietor of Charlie's Diary, a weblog dedicated to investigating the pressing question of whether there is anything better in life than drawing on the sole of your slippers with a biro instead of going to the pub on a Saturday night. Charlie's Diary boasts a readership of over 150,000 cantankerous geeks who post over a thousand argumentative comments per month. The diary has been a vanity project and white elephant ever since its inception, receiving revenue solely from the Amazon referrals program until the author deleted all his links to it in a fit of pique.

About Cheezburger

Cheezburger, the company which publishes popular sites such as I Can Has Cheezburger?, FAIL Blog, Memebase, and The Daily What, is one of the largest online humor publishers in the world where millions of people come every month to get their 5-minutes of happiness. Cheezburger counts a passionate fan base of 17.5 million people who upload more than 500,000 pictures and videos as well as view 400 million pages and 110 million videos each month. The company has been profitable since its inception with revenue from advertising, traditional media publishing including books, and merchandising.

Buy me, Cheezburger, or the cat starves!



Nicely done!

Just one of the many services this blog provides me, due to the time delta, is annual early warning that /. is not worth visiting tomorrow.


Will Cheeseburger also be publishing that series of Romance Novels you promised last year??


I can haz a break?


The LOLcat at the end is so very sweet.

Charlie, is that one of your kitties?


Funny! It took me a brief moment to remember that it's already the 1st in British Summer Time.

(Psst, I think you are missing a colon in the URL for Scalzi's blog.)


oh'k, thx for the reminder... hope your agent made a deal with the cheez-guys involving a lifetime cheese-bacon-burgers supply.


Oh right, April 1st. The stars have aligned and Kithulhu has risen from its litter box deep beneath the waves.


The bacterial colony formerly known as Peter Watts declined to comment.

Ha ha, I wondered when you were going to comment on that. You need to survive Ebola or something like that in order to catch up now.


I endorse this product and/or service.


I thought that as a gesture in support of cross-the-pond unity and a common language it was agreed that all japes and hijinks must be perpetrated on 4/1, and so you're almost three months late with this bit of tomfoolery?


Nice one Charlie. I particularly liked "It's taken a decade and I'm all burned up, so I've finally decided to monetize you bitches and cash out." That's worth a pint at least.


I for one welcome our Cheezburger overlords.


I can has rationality?


Monetized sounds dirty - I approve ;)


Stross was last seen attempting to wrangle a herd of cats into his intergalactic Republican star destroyer, but Lady Savitch, Mistress of the Warp Drive, forbade him to board, saying, "One of the flayrod's gone outta skew apparently on the treadle..."


"stroking his unfeasibly hairy pussy"

Does that mean the same thing in the rest of the world as it does in Oz?? :)


Charlie wins the internets.


Well done, that man.


Congratulations Charlie! After so much hard work over the years, this is a richly deserved stroke of luck. We in fandom have always loved your intricately structured prose and fabulous pontification, and now the rest of the world can share in the glorious wealth that you dole out to us lowly plebes.

We can only pray and hope that there is a separate section for the amazing amount of Charlie/Cory fanfic, a genre that is growing exponentially like mold on rye.


Dead giveaway: "monetize you bitches".

The real Charlie would have said "monetise you bastards"; 1) because he's a Brit, and 2) I'm guessing the readership of this blog is mostly male.


accreting a vibrant community of snarky nerds

Hey! Who you callin' snarky? Cantankerous, okay, but snarky? Never!


If you are looking to "monetize you bitches", shouldn't you launching an IP infringement suit against the Cheezburger Network first?

"Can I has Cheezburger" didn't launch till 2007 and Aineko was described in Accelerando, making sarky comments, in 2005. Clear case of intellectual property - particularly since for some reason they got $30m in funding from someone, in January this year.

Shall we say $5m in settlement and a further $5m for "Charlie's Diary", an everyday tale of tale telling?


ha ha thats cat wants has a cheezburger


"I is in bush behind big building, Iz got clipboard, Iz got pager, and Iz don need night-vision gogglez cuz I am cat. Is wet and little rain is fallings, there is damp that go right thru furz and I hatez waterz. Iz been in bushes for three hours waiting for dumb humanz to turn off lights sos I can jump in back windoz. Why didz Iz ever say yes to Andy?"

From Charlie's book "The Catrocity Archivez"


Kewl! I can haz Self-publized EBookz too!




Not to be pedantic, but one can be both a snarky nerd and a general-purpose pedant.


All this, and a Half Man Half Biscuit reference in the penultimate paragraph? Truly you're spoiling us...


nicely done.


Even while asleep ... WE ARE YOUR MASTERS



Ryan: yes, that's Frigg. Age approximately 15, she's an old lady with arthritis who has recently gone blind due to hypertension. (Which doesn't stop her getting around: a blind cat is about as disabled as a deaf human.) This is her trademarked "aren't I cute? By the way, I just shat in your shoe" expression.


What a bother, I was quite certain you would sign up with Erudite Ferrets instead of those dumbass cats.


On a related note, Germany's front for the Faust force has just been inaugurated...

News say there are 10 members; ok, they are more like coordinating the different agencies, but I know small businesses that have a bigger IT...


Awl UR Cheezbrgrs R blongz 2 mii!


Damn. Hawtness or Charlie's Diary. Which one do I click on first?


Nicely played, sir.


Props to Peter Watts for being a good sport.


Am I the only person here capable of taking a completely straightforward post seriously? The sheer level of denialist cheeseburgeois false commentness in the responses is marvellous to behold.

I have the honour to assure you that you have already fulfilled your necessary historical function, and in the very process of commodifying our human relations into cold cheesy cats, have personally created the precise digital consciousness amongst advanced members of the burgeoisie which will inevitably fire the grill for your own captionalist patties.



"cheeseburgeois" - Ah leiks teh wurd. Mai ah borrow it? KTHXBAI.


I was all hopeful when you said proletarian chew toys that there was an actual link to squeaky Lenins.

This is wrong. I know this.


In other news, our esteemed hosts' creative output now serves as templates for spam letters. (Pictured, not linked directly, for obvious reasons)


I can see a tie-in potential for the next Laundry Files book: The ROLFMAO FAQ.


I'm appalled. I always felt there was something vaguely hackish about your work, Mr Stross, but selling out to a cat picture site is lower than even I expected. Are there no standards left in the scifi community?

Next thing you know, you'll be selling out your Laundry series to make some RPG.


Well done, this is the best April's fool I come across today.

I don't quite understand why Scalzi's cat, Ghalaghghee dissaproves though.

Maybe you should renegotiate the takeover agreement: 1 stripe of bacon for Ghalaghghee for every 100 lolcats posted.

That should do it!


I was all hopeful when you said proletarian chew toys that there was an actual link to squeaky Lenins.

Actually, a link to squeaky Thatchers would be more appropriate for proletariat kittens 'n puppies.


I for one welcome our new feline overlords. Please remember that this incarnation requires significant downtime, so frequent naps will be required...


You nearly got me thrown out of a library for giggling just then. Kan I haz more HMHB refz? All together now: "Reckoned he'd kicked Gagarin into space..."


I can haz berree straynj luiks frawm mai kawleegz!


After checking out Blizzard Entertainment's page today, I immeadiately thought of our favorite Laundry agent when I saw this app:


I can has ancient meme?


Poor kitteh! Of course I'll buy you a cheezburger. Now, where's that tip jar? Oh, not a single one in sight! All I can see are good principles and stern morality, which are not legal tender at the cheezburger joint. Looks like I'll have to buy your owner's books so he can rustle up some cheezburger money. Good thing I remember their titles: "The Laundry Room", "Uranus's Children" and "Misadventures with the Blade of Kings". No, wait a minute, that was "Misadventures with the War Kings", I think.


(BTW - missing 'http://' on the Cheezburger UTL)


If you hadn't already won an internet or several with the main body of the post, I would have awarded you one for the Half Man Half Biscuit reference. Would you like to claim your Intergalactic Superhighway now, or later?


re william.freequark

"squeaky Thatchers"

YESSSS! Much better. ( :

oddly, that sounds like a kind of cereal.

Hmm. Now I'm fantasizing about squeaky Bushes. Also squeaky Blairs. But squeaky Thatchers...

"Hurry up Billy, and eat your Squeaky Thatchers or you'll be late for school!"

falls over


pardon the comma splice in my previous post facepalm


Nice! :) Except... please please tell me you're good friends with Peter Watts. :( Else, yikes!


The sole April Fools joke I've actually enjoyed today. Good luck with the monetization of crabby science fiction readers!


paws4thot @ 41: But of claws you may! Whoever exactly might seek to bid a Cat do otherwise than Their own liking, I at least am scarcely that kind of fool!


So, Charlie, does this mean you are now a LOLcat, a FAIL, or a cheezburger? In any case, glad to see you getting some monetary benefit out of us; we clearly can't buy enough of your books to keep you in the lifestyle you want to become accustomed to.


Seriously, a way to help cats: click on any answer and 10 kibbles will be given to an animal shelter.


Teresa Nielsen Hayden's sanguinity may dip slightly upon reading this release. Someone else may face imminent total loss of sanguinity, full stop.

Easily the funniest and least brain-damaging* gag I've sampled today. Ta.

[1] Some have been well beyond good taste or sense... [2] [2] At least one at $ORKPLACE scored on both axes.


" ."This is just the kind of move you'd expect of that back-stabbing mercenary Stross," said John Scalzi, "selling his reader community down the river."

But WHICH River, eh? WE Rare Birds wont be sold down just any old RIVER but do insist upon an interesting and Literary River to be Sold Down .... we have Our Pride!


The thing to do .. the terribly feline and Machiavellian Thing to do .. is delete your browsing history after your entry and then you can make a Second .. and so on ..donation.

Sorry about that, but its the way that I Think ...and so back to Plotting to Rule The World from my secret H.Q that is beneath an extinct Volcano that IS beneath the city of Edinburgh.


Charlie, how will this affect the Ayn Rand sequel? I've been a fan of both of you for SOOOOO long!


If a LOLcat fails in the forest and no-one is there to see it, can it haz cheezburger? I think we should be told!




'squeaky thatchers' the NO-MILK cereal


I can haz Cthulhuburger?


It's a shame this is a joke, this would have saved me having to visit two sites per day and increase my producivity at the office.


Only if you cover it with Shoggoth Sauce (with 13 eldritch ingredients).


I can Haz Hugo Award?


Riteing komentsz on teh fred in LOLspeek is mah schtick!


Glad to hear the good news, Charlie. I'm most excited about the re-branding opportunity five years down the road. A word of advice? Please drop 'r's from your new brand. I try to tell people your name in recommending novels and that 'r' in your last name screws it up every time. Half the people I know are out looking for novels by some fellow "Stoss" and thinking that you're German.

Thanks awfully!



Thanks for the suggestion, Mike: I think it'd work best if I re-brand as Chasles Stsoss™! What do you think of that?


"Chasless Stross™" works better, I think.


I like it! But let's add an 'e' and cut to the Chaseless!



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This page contains a single entry by Charlie Stross published on April 1, 2011 12:01 AM.

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