Btw, managed to slip Rule 34 to a friend, I'm quite proud of it: Not only does this seldom happens, but this is the first time I've done this for a book in english :)
Thank you for everything, the books, and the blog articles. And, while I'm at it, thanks to the community here, too. I seldom have the time to read it all, but I find the comments and discussions really interesting.
]]>I just wanted to thank you for writing this, and charlie, too, for giving you this place.
If we've dwelled slightly onto the matter, we all know what you're saying here. Yet, when you're in the privileged class (and thus not as much reminded of your inferior status by life), it's sometimes too easy to just forget, or to cease to be vigilant.
Posts such as this are very, very useful IMO, because they counteract this, and bring these issues again to the fore. If we don't fight for gender equality on a day to day basis, it's too easy to slip back.
By the way, a few days ago, a french feminist named mar_lard wrote an enlightening piece about sexism in the geek community, named "«Sexisme chez les geeks : Pourquoi notre communauté est malade, et comment y remédier»". I encourage any french-reader who's not aware of it so search and read it, it's a depressing, but quite interesting, reading.
]]>A shooting occurs. You carry a gun, so you decide to stop the killer. You approach the scene, and you see 1 armed people, with corpses everywhere. So you shoot. And kill the teacher who just used his amazing sharpshooter skills to kill the mass murderer.
I mean, even leaving aside the question of friendly fire, how do you know that the gun-carrying guy you've got before you is not a serial killer? Because he's got good looks and/or a white hat, like in the movies?
]]>Very true, IMO.
]]>A few years ago (what? 4 years at most), a woman was drugged and raped here. As far as I know, none of the men is still imprisoned. Most of them would have committed a worse offense if they had just stolen something.
And trust me, the likelihood of a female growing up without some very bad experiences with men is next to nil. It just doesn't get discussed. There's a reason for that. Because when women talk about it, they get crap for it. Yeah, I heard that about 1 out of 10 women will be raped in her life. I find that... this is... Well, this is just too big a number.
And yes, it doesn't get discussed. In part because there's this social stigma you talked about above: If it happened, the woman must have done something to provoke it. But then, there are other things. It is difficult to talk about this, not only because these are traumatic events, but also because these just don't happen. I mean, I know girls that had been raped. But even then when you spoke of death threats, I was all o_O As I see it, we like to think that we're civilized, and things like this just don't happen in a civilized world. So at some level, you must face some disbelief when telling traumatic events, which required a lot of strength and trust.
And there's this... social norm? That we're all fine and good. And when these do happen, once in a million while, you're just supposed to bounce back and be fine.
You are supposed to be all right, not dragged down by whatever happened to you. So you just shut up, and do as if everything's all right and you're "normal".
I mean, how can someone talk about this when: - It's at least your fault - These just don't happen to "normal people", and you're normal, aren't you? - People are gonna tell you that you're depressing them with your stories and that you should just get over it?
Women aren't better than men. Women are human beings too. We're all flawed. We're all doing the best we can. We all make mistakes. Hopefully, we learn from those mistakes and become wise. Because the world needs more Yodas. lol yes, I've seen women quarry, and I've seen it get ugly :( I have seen women be utterly devoid of empathy, too (When someone who claims to be your friend stumble about a word by you saying "I want to die" and has for only reaction to say "that's all?", well, it shatters any remaining ideas you might have had about this :-D)
I have this stupid idea (thanks to Star Trek Classic) that, if we are all willing to discuss and try to understand each other, we can at least manage to get along. But I've seen to much men and women be unwilling to even try to think dearly of us as a species.
Oh, and RPGs? Among other things, it provided me a place where I could be with people that would not threaten me. A place where I could be something else than a victim. It helped me make some friends, and was a big socialization tool for me.
Anyway, thank you very much, you two.
]]>I often think that this happen when you both lack the means to express your feelings (it's easier to just hit on things) and the empathy to perceive the other as another sentient instead of a frustrating thing.
This sounded strange, so, just to clarify, this is, of course, because I don't know what it is to be a woman among women. And now that I think of it, as much as I'd like (and hope) that we can, at least for a time, just be mostly humans being together, I can't, of course, tell how much/little the fact that I'm a male skew things.
]]>Wow. This is... I have no words for this. This feels pretty bad.
Is this related to the fact that every man is perceived a potential rapist, so you have to watch out, whereas men don't have to worry about this, or is that something else? I'd like you to expand.
Maybe I can relate in a small part, from a different angle. I dunno. But I've always felt more comfortable among women than men. There's often this hidden current where every man tries to prove himself the top dog and assert his dominance, as well as affirm that he is "a true man, not an homo", that I find extenuating and uncomfortable. This, IMO, explains in part bullying. When you fail to prove yourself as strong enough, when other men feel that you're weak and that they can pick on you, there's this tendency to do just that. I've felt that once or twice, and found it quite hard to resist
It's easier, IMO, to exist as a person (at least if you're a male) among females than among men, because you can spend more time talking with the other and just being you in your entirety instead of worrying about your survival among a band of wolves and having to avoid showing any weakness.
]]>Well, it is done, and, IMO, very well done, in "Princess Mononoke". It features a conflict between a human town, with "normal" people that consume a forest to live, and the forest spirits that defend their home. Neither group is written as evil, they each have good reasons to do what they do... But you can understand each side, and relate to both, which makes the conflict all the more tearing.
]]>I am already barely able to live and, in a way, am awaiting death (suicide recquiring too much effort anyway), yet I fear senescence like everyone else. So the prospect of gaining x centuries of life isn't appealing to me, but I can't see myself not taking the pill.
All I want is spending time with loved ones, but this is too much to ask. I just don't know what I'd do. Maybe keep going like a machine, I dunno.
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