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Recent Actions

• Commented on Spoiler Thread
  In all examples we saw, gates are always controlled by a summoning grid or a similar implement, and moving the grid would very likely lead to moving the gate (think about building a grid on a truck, or on a...
• Commented on Spoiler Thread
  Just finished reading the book and all the comments. First thing first: great book, as usual. A bit self-contained and detached from the main narrative (only some vampires in London, no world-breaking events like a giant mass sacrifice awakening something...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Sending fellow employees links to TV Tropes without proper consideration for the powerfully addicting memetic effects of said web site resulted in a total loss of 1247 man/hours....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  (Sorry, it should have been "agent [redacted]", but I used angle brackets instead of square ones, and it looks like angle brackets are indeed very good at redacting their contents.)...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Agent tried to ride an adult specimen of Equestrian Red Sirloin in a horse race, on the assumption that it would "run faster". Turned out it indeed ran a lot faster than common horses, which proved quite unfortunate when it...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  I beg to differ. Time discrepancies can sure work both ways, but there is experimental evidency that is a lot common for subjective time to be much longer than HQ time (ref. case LION WARDROBE); the official company policy is...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Time dilation caused by relativistic effects due to any kind of space-time anomaly encountered in the course of wotk must not be taken into account when filling timesheets. All work hours are to be computed according to HQ time, regardless...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  (Inspired by #454) The usage of Residual Human Resources to dispose of Krantzberg-infested central nervous systems is in violation of several Health & Safety regulations, both for handling hazardous biological materials and for dealing with RHR....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  SCORPION STARE is not routinely installed on bank machines as far as you know. "As far as you know" being the key words here; but further discussion of the matter would require ZURICH GLARE clearance, so please let's stop...
• Commented on YAPC::NA 2014 keynote: Programming Perl in 2034
  Obligatory Joel Spolski reference: http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/fog0000000319.html....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Ok guys, this has to stop. NOW. Not only is the very idea of an Enochian Rap Battle dangerously insane (and you have been warned about this before)... you also used Laundry electronics for on-stage sound processing and amplification. After...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Please, don't do that. Really. Just DON'T....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Although we all know how annoying spammers can be, we are hereby forced to remind you that the risk of public exposure is too high to allow employing any kind of non-standard means to deal with them. This includes "an...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Agent [Redacted] used "if you don't behave I'll call Nyarlathotep" as a threat to scare his two children (aged 7 and 8) into obedience, and upon refusal by said children to behave as requested proceeded to actually invoke a lesser...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Nothing, of course. And nodoby here has clearly ever been exposed to madness-inducing entities from other planes of existence....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  (Some entries could spawn great short stories, or could fit well inside longer ones; I'd love if Charlie picked up on them. Mine are of course freely available for this purpose.)...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Enochian Rap Battle....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  As much as everyone would like to congratulate Alan Turing for his great work and have a friendly chat with him, nevertheless it has been established that he has already been bothered quite enough by this Agency during his earthly...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  "Basilisk staring context"? WTF where you thinking?!?...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Your request for authorization to own a pet Shoggoth is hereby denied. Please report for mandatory psychological evaluation on Wednesday at 11:00....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Trying to use a spectrometer on a sample of the Colour Out Of Space resulted in a spontaneously-disintegrating spectrometer and an extremely high amount of radiation. The expenses for lab decontamination and a replacement spectrometer will be deducted from your...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  The remains of multi-tentacled hostiles defeated during field operations are not be sold to fish markets under any circumstance....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  The London Underground is not to be used as a giant summoning grid, even if hijacking the control systems can successfully make the trains run in a Dho-Nha pattern. While the idea is indeed interesting, you are kindly requested to...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  The "HTML entities" mentioned in the comment form are to be typed, NOT summoned. And please stop trying to embed Javascript Dho-Nha curve generators in your comments; there is a filter for that, and for very good reasons....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Using time-traveling devices (or entities) to provide your younger self with information on sporting events, luck-based games and/or stock markets is strongly forbidden by company policy....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  "Repairing" girlfriend's refrigerator caused class-3 manifestations of ancient sumerian gods inside said appliance, requiring the dispatchment of an OCCULUS team....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  The general public should NOT be made aware of the existence and availability of 4- (or more) dimensions printers....
• Commented on Competition Time!
  (BTW, the name is Massimo Pascucci. What's with those Google accounts?!?)...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  Although Folding@Home seems to be somewhat more useful than Bitcoin mining, Residual Human Resources' neural networks are NOT to be used for that. As a side note, we'd like to remind all employees that "they are just wasting their brain...
• Commented on Competition Time!
  There are a number of reasons why producing and selling a "Toy Summoning Grid (WITH REALLY CUTE LITTLE DEMONS!!!)" would be an incredibly bad idea....