flippac

flippac

  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    Eh, if we're talking merch I'd love a "count the cows" t-shirt with artwork? I suspect such things are a PITA to organise though....
  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    Oh, and I should probably confess: not only am I not a startup veteran, I've never been paid to write code in my life! Just don't ask about the time a kernel hacker mistook me for a fellow kernel hacker......
  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    Rather worryingly, I actually had backstory for the paperclip chain entry. Still, I guess I can cope with ducking LWers on IRC for a while! Many thanks to Charlie both for helping keep me entertained through an otherwise crappy few...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    When asked to provide an OTP for command use, responded "Angleton/Vetinari"....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    We do not issue human-size hamster balls as standard. Nor does your boss need one just because you set his wallpaper to a drawing of a Hound. And even if OCCULUS teams were trained to operate using them, you wouldn't...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    INVERTED CRESCENT appears to be trying to gain access beyond her clearance by DoSing OCTOTHORPE GANESH HIBISCUS with disciplinary reports. Which she also doesn't have clearance for. Thankfully her bandwidth appears to be limited: she's only tripped the spam filter...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    [Joint effort with Jennifer Hackett] Things Agent SKIPPY is no longer allowed to do in front of BLUE HADES: Order caviar Discuss tentacle porn Ask what giant squid are like in bed Describe underwear stains as an "oil spill" Offer...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    When in doubt, always disambiguate between Her Majesty's Government and Heavy Machine Guns. You'll be amazed the difficulty that failing to do so causes in Procurement....
  • Commented on YAPC::NA 2014 keynote: Programming Perl in 2034
    I regularly write code without two of these, and with only immutable variables, but I must be weird. Which isn't to say that general recursion is the way to anything but circular logic, but there's a lot of room for...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    A/S/Led a Black Chamber Controller. From the office....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Submitting a disciplinary/final warning that violates copyright - to wit, the majority is a modified extract from Baboon Fart Story....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Claiming to have INDIGO DEITY KING FIRE APOCALYPSE clearance isn't going to fool Harry. Or anyone else. You'll have to buy your own toys....
  • Commented on YAPC::NA 2014 keynote: Programming Perl in 2034
    Languages aren't developing as fast as the hardware they run on (relatively speaking, we're only just over the idea of having to fit the running implementation in a meg or less!). One piece of evidence for that'd be the sheer...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    We recently received a complaint from one of our administrative managers, beginning as follows: "My staff have recently informed me of an ancient sect known as the Justified Ancients of Mu Mu. I find their freedom to roam the land...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    We have had an unfortunate near-miss with a science fiction fan in the office: [SFFan] is a hobbyist programmer, but does not normally program for us and has limited training. Nevertheless, [SFFan] is loosely aware of the basics of what...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    We found most of an FM-encoded program in your work-in-progress dubstep remix of a Paul van Dyk track. You can play it twice if you really insist: the second time would not be for an angel....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    No, we will not approve C++ for development work. If you think you can write C++ /inside Laundry premises/ without accidentally summoning something, you are welcome to demonstrate to the auditors....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    While we agree that Nyarlathotep would indeed be more humane in charge of the DWP, we cannot approve of any action to bring this about. Officially....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Your How I Met Your Mother fanfiction contains an irreparable number of breaches of the Official Secrets Act. Worse, it is not fiction....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Mine are likewise available and I'm happy to confirm that in more legally-useful fashion if helpful....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    The employee in question claims to have been 'stoned' at the time...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    If Unreal Tournament was about competition between intersecting reality excursions, we would've banned it already....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    It's 2014. Even the Americans aren't going to believe diluted shoggoth excretions are beer....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Your Mellotron is, if not shiny, certainly possessed of a certain kind of retro-cool. It is not, however, to be used in conjunction with "found sounds" appropriated from R&D. [ENFORCEMENT NOTE: Arrange for the removal of said device immediately, before...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    R&D would like to know how the hell you managed to summon and bind a Class 4 entity using nothing but a Roland TB-303. The rest of us would like to make it clear that we never, ever want to...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Following the acquisition of souped-up audio equipment from an as-yet unidentified member of technical staff, succeeded in introducing a number of extra-dimensional entities to Born Slippy. Catering are struggling to keep up with them "shouting lager, lager, lager, lager!". Measures...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Owing to the pseudo-computational nature of the game, employees are reminded not to play Magic: the Gathering at Laundry installations as the high background levels of magical potential may lead to unexpected consequences. Relatedly, [REDACTED] is on sick leave after...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    [REDACTED], Personal Secretary to [REDACTED], was caught making a paperclip chain. The resulting breach of the Official Secrets Act has lead to an ongoing audit which it is estimated will take 6 months to complete, necessitating the destruction of all...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Computational linguists are to bear in mind at all times that High Enochian's overloading mechanisms are a great danger. As such, all references to Computer Based Training, Compulsory Basic Training for motorcyclists and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy should be made in...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Despite what you have been telling new recruits, one must do more than "mash that dpm+FP" to perform a field-expedient exorcism of Cthulhu. Additionally, even if it did work, you'd break your arm - but given the preceding loss of...
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