BigJay2k

BigJay2k

  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    In case he's still looking: Charles, Wanted to confirm you had received my physical address email...if not I can resend it. Will follow up via email as well. Brain. Melting....
  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    Want! Want! Want! drool (repeat ad nauseum)...
  • Commented on Competition Redux!
    Aaaccckkk! Many humble apologies for the delay...work, work, and more work! Glad I thought to check back on the updates. Email sent (included proper handling instructions for USPS deliveries involving "Things Man Was Not Meant to Know", just in case...last...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Same here...they always sounds funnier in my head. Maybe I need to get in touch with my "inner Daemon" and see what they have to say?...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    <<Found on in the 3rd floor, NE copy room, stuck to a "secure & burn" document chute door by a piece of well-used gum>>   [REDACTED LINE MANAGER'S NAME]: Okay, one more time...sorry, this just isn't sinking in...never had "higher...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    The following committees are forthwith disband and an immediate investigation by the SWIFT DARK JUSTICE working group to find and punish the perpetrator(s) of this travesty:     * KING KONG DONG   * OLD BLACK FEE-AIR-OOO   * DRUNKEN SAILOR WANG   *...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Where to begin?   Seriously, where?   [AGENT NAME] has been observed committing &/or has freely admitted to the following open violations of standing policies:     * Abuse of Amazon's "Mechanical Turk" crowdsourced marketplace for the purposes of:     - Creation...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Though this is hardly a [d|D]emocracy, for my 3 pence: 51, 66, 73, 80, 117, 122, 143, 156, 162, 168, 184, 191, 220, 279, 291, 327, 378, 382, 395, 413, 419, & 427 Keep 'em coming!...
  • Commented on The Rhesus Chart: Chapter One
    Excellent as always...and now I must spend the next 6+ days NOT thinking about it.   slow grinding of jaw muscles   Fine, I'm fine...really, I'm fine....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    In regards to [REDACTED]'s annual "Personal Development Plan":    Listing "Doomed! Doomed! Doomed!" under "Future Career Goals" section is simply an unnecessarily depressing reminder to all and not appreciated as "levity against boredom"    "FREAKY FRIDAY soul-exchange with immediate supervisor"...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Notice to All Department Heads: use of Quantum Gnomes to "manage" your respective budgets is strictly forbidden by policy. Any budgetary paperwork registering excess quarks (> 5e12 particles per cubic centimeter) will be returned for "necessary and proper changes (in...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Health and Safety Notice: calling it a "Color Out of Space" does NOT make said entity any less dangerous than calling it a "Colour Out of Space". You have been warned....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    The "Abyss Staring Contest" posted in the break room last week has been cancelled. Any attempt to reschedule it will result in offender(s) being reassigned to "Human Resources" staffing....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    [REDACTED]'s efforts to claim "universal & omnidimensional" copyright over the works of 16th Century occultist John Dee, using a company-issued printer placed inside of a Class 4 trans-chronic pentacle, are hereby null and void. As are [REDACTED]'s pronouncement to being...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Final reminder: Shoggoths are NOT -- REPEAT, NOT -- an acceptable substitute for fake "coffee stains" or "vomit puddles". Any further incidents shall be dealt with in the harshest possible terms. Harshest. Possible. Terms....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Utilizing coins enchanted with "Return to Spender" binding is not an acceptable method of payment for mass transit systems....
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    Misuse of Laundry resources, including (but not limited to):   * (5) HP-style ink jet toner cartridges (#140 black ink, C6656AN)   * (2) Bottles of conductive ink (500ml each)   * (1) Diamond-tipped pen (glass-etching type)   * (1) Conference room table (faux...
  • Commented on Competition Time!
    [REDACTED]'s inappropriate use of work time coding "killer app" using GLASS ROD GOLD 9-dimensional tesseract for express purpose of creating "real, working X-Ray Specs". Furthermore, multiple reports of said application being used to observe female co-workers "sans clothes" (or skin,...
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