[ Site Index] [ Feedback ]
Sat, 02 Oct 2004
Funny what drops through the letter box when you're about to go away for a week, isn't it? Normally spam goes straight into the rubbish bin, but this one slipped through the net because it appeared to be a letter from a publisher and was therefore of some interest. So I opened it up, and this is what I found:
Dear Mr Stross,My great hobby is researching ancestry.Over the last few decades, during which I have carried out intensive research using countless genealogical archives, I have repeatedly stumbled across a whole host of sources containing information about the Stross family name. Having collected a great deal of data, I have now decided to publish the fascinating history of your name in book form. In dealing with the hundreds of christenings, marriages and deaths involved, I have restricted myself to the use of recognized sources. The outcome of all my efforts has resulted in a publication which should greatly interest you:The Stross Family ChronicleYou, yourself -- as a descendant of this old name which goes back centuries -- are also included in this edition!The chronicle details the historical development of the Stross name. The genealogical index alone covers some 25 pages (approx 1/3 of the book) and dates back several centuries to approx. 1625. I have also included surname variants. Besides dealing with the origin, significance and development of the surnamed in general, the book also deals with the history of heraldry (coats of arms) ...I'm sure my Jewish ancestors would be fascinated to hear about all these christenings that went on. And I'd very much like to get my hands on whatever time machine "William Pince Publishers" used to edit history, ensuring that the Stross family name did indeed go back to 1625, seeing as how my Polish-Jewish immigrant ancestors changed their name to Stross just three generations ago, round about 1905. (Anglicizing their somewhat less pronouncable name to a mis-spelling of a German name.)
But there's more. For William Pince, Genealogist and Chairman of the S. G. N. Genealogical Foundation (not to mention owner of an offshore company -- registered in Holland -- that uses a secretarial service and fax number in London) goes on to explain:
In addition to this special offer, I have two more bonuses in store for you, if you decide to take up this advance order.
- In the course of my research I came across a magnificent Stross coat of arms.
This coat of arms has been printed onto parchment paper (20x28cm) in the authentic century-old colouring -- a design comparable to expensive hand-painted heraldry. This beautiful coat of arms is yours TOTALLY FREE OF CHARGE when you place an advance order.Parchment paper would of course be authentic sheepskin made from acid-free wood-pulp, and the authentic century-old colouring would be applied using an authentic centuries-old inkjet printer. But I must say I'm disappointed in Mr Pince's research; for he failed to take note of my address, and I'd be very interested in seeing what his diligent research could dig up by way of a Stross family tartan. Not to mention a Stross family title of nobility, a Stross family tree, and a Stross family motto. (As I am led to understand that my great-grandfather met my great-grandmother on the return leg of a business trip from Brussels to Tehran, on foot through the Balkans in the late 1870's -- yes, my family reproduce at sufficiently long intervals that my grandfather fought in the First World War and my father served in the Second -- I suspect he'd have to do rather a lot of digging. Either that, or make things up out of whole cloth on the assumption that anyone ignorant enough to use such a service is probably not going to realize they're being bilked.)
Anyway, as they say, you get what you pay for. Especially if what you pay for is a copy of the phone book, a mailmerge program, and a scheme evidently aimed at extracting cash from the rootless and vulnerable.
posted at: 11:14 | path: /misc | permanent link to this entryspecials:
Is SF About to Go Blind? -- Popular Science article by Greg Mone
Unwirer -- an experiment in weblog mediated collaborative fiction
Inside the MIT Media Lab -- what it's like to spend a a day wandering around the Media Lab
"Nothing like this will be built again" -- inside a nuclear reactor complex
Quick links:
RSS Feed (Moved!)
Buy my books: (FAQ)
- Missile Gap
- Via Subterranean Press (US HC -- due Jan, 2007)
- The Jennifer Morgue
- Via Golden Gryphon (US HC -- due Nov, 2006)
- Glasshouse
- Via Amazon.com (US HC -- due June 30, 2006)
- The Clan Corporate
- Via Amazon.com (US HC -- out now)
- Accelerando
- Via Amazon.com (US HC)
Via Amazon.com (US PB -- due June 27, 2006)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK HC)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK PB)
Free download
- The Hidden Family
- Via Amazon.com (US HC)
Via Amazon.com (US PB)
- The Family Trade
- Via Amazon.com (US HC)
Via Amazon.com (US PB)
- Iron Sunrise
- Via Amazon.com (US HC)
Via Amazon.com (US PB)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK HC)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK PB)
- The Atrocity Archives
- Via Amazon.com (Trade PB)
Via Amazon.co.uk (Trade PB)
Via Golden Gryphon (HC)
Via Amazon.com (HC)
Via Amazon.co.uk (HC)
Singularity Sky- Via Amazon.com (US HC)
Via Amazon.com (US PB)
Via Amazon.com (US ebook)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK HC)
Via Amazon.co.uk (UK PB)
Toast- Via Amazon.com
Via Amazon.co.uk
Some webby stuff I'm reading:
[ Engadget ]
[ Gizmodo ]
[ The Memory Hole ]
[ Boing!Boing! ]
[ Futurismic ]
[ Walter Jon Williams ]
[ Making Light (TNH) ]
[ Crooked Timber ]
[ Junius (Chris Bertram) ]
[ Baghdad Burning (Riverbend) ]
[ Bruce Sterling ]
[ Ian McDonald ]
[ Amygdala (Gary Farber) ]
[ Cyborg Democracy ]
[ Body and Soul (Jeanne d'Arc) ]
[ Atrios ]
[ The Sideshow (Avedon Carol) ]
[ This Modern World (Tom Tomorrow) ]
[ Jesus's General ]
[ Mick Farren ]
[ Early days of a Better Nation (Ken MacLeod) ]
[ Respectful of Otters (Rivka) ]
[ Tangent Online ]
[ Grouse Today ]
[ Hacktivismo ]
[ Terra Nova ]
[ Whatever (John Scalzi) ]
[ GNXP ]
[ Justine Larbalestier ]
[ Yankee Fog ]
[ The Law west of Ealing Broadway ]
[ Cough the Lot ]
[ The Yorkshire Ranter ]
[ Newshog ]
[ Kung Fu Monkey ]
[ S1ngularity ]
[ Pagan Prattle ]
[ Gwyneth Jones ]
[ Calpundit ]
[ Lenin's Tomb ]
[ Progressive Gold ]
[ Kathryn Cramer ]
[ Halfway down the Danube ]
[ Fistful of Euros ]
[ Orcinus ]
[ Shrillblog ]
[ Steve Gilliard ]
[ Frankenstein Journal (Chris Lawson) ]
[ The Panda's Thumb ]
[ Martin Wisse ]
[ Kuro5hin ]
[ Advogato ]
[ Talking Points Memo ]
[ The Register ]
[ Cryptome ]
[ Juan Cole: Informed comment ]
[ Global Guerillas (John Robb) ]
[ Shadow of the Hegemon (Demosthenes) ]
[ Simon Bisson's Journal ]
[ Max Sawicky's weblog ]
[ Guy Kewney's mobile campaign ]
[ Hitherby Dragons ]
[ Counterspin Central ]
[ MetaFilter ]
[ NTKnow ]
[ Encyclopaedia Astronautica ]
[ Fafblog ]
[ BBC News (Scotland) ]
[ Pravda ]
[ Meerkat open wire service ]
[ Warren Ellis ]
[ Brad DeLong ]
[ Hullabaloo (Digby) ]
[ Jeff Vail ]
[ The Whiskey Bar (Billmon) ]
[ Groupthink Central (Yuval Rubinstein) ]
[ Unmedia (Aziz Poonawalla) ]
[ Rebecca's Pocket (Rebecca Blood) ]
Older stuff:
June 2006
May 2006
April 2006
March 2006
February 2006
January 2006
December 2005
November 2005
October 2005
September 2005
August 2005
July 2005
June 2005
May 2005
April 2005
March 2005
February 2005
January 2005
December 2004
November 2004
October 2004
September 2004
August 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
September 2003
August 2003
July 2003
June 2003
May 2003
April 2003
March 2003
February 2003
January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
September 2002
August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
(I screwed the pooch in respect of the blosxom entry datestamps on March 28th, 2002, so everything before then shows up as being from the same time)
[ Site Index] [ Feedback ]
Powered by Blosxom!