For approximately the next 24 hours (at a minimum) there is going to be nothing in the public media spotlight except an impending fertility ritual involving an amiable but allegedly none too bright helicopter pilot and a conventionally pretty party planner.
So I thought I'd make up a somewhat less happy news report from another time line for you to talk about.
(Royalists and those of a nervous disposition may prefer to ignore this blog entry.)
REUTERS 1139 BST: EXPLOSION AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY
Scenes of confusion surround Westminster Abbey today after an explosion ripped through the Lady Chapel, engulfing the royal wedding party in a rain of masonry and debris.
There are reports of a rocket trail seen moments before the explosion ...
REUTERS 1147 BST: EXPLOSION AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY: "METEORITE TO BLAME"
The devastating explosion that ripped through Westminster Abbey less than an hour ago is confirmed to be a meteorite. The 10 meter object was tracked on radar by National Air Traffic Service (NATS) prior to impact. According to Project Spaceguard it was considered to be of low significance, Official sources say terrorism is not involved.
Rescue workers and police are frantically searching the scene of the disaster for survivors, but the surviving south wall of the abbey is believed to be unstable and could collapse at any moment.
The meteor left a burning trail across the sky and was seen as far away as Bristol before disintegrating. Smaller fragments landed in central London, severely damaging the Queen Elizabeth II Conference Centre and the Supreme Court buildings. The largest fragment, believed to weigh over ten tons, tore through the wall of Lady Chapel at high speed and shattered two stone buttresses, partially collapsing the roof. Television footage showed the royal wedding party and guests engulfed in fragments.
Unconfirmed reports are coming in that bodies recovered so far include those of former Prime Minister Sir John Major, Maid of honour Pippa Middleton, Sir Elton John, and the Archbishop of Canterbury.
Other famous meteorite impacts include New Orleans (Louisiana, 2003), Tunguska (Siberia, 1908), Chicxulub (Yucatán Peninsula, Mexico, 65 million BC) ...
REUTERS 1206 BST: EXPLOSION AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY: LATEST UPDATE
It has been confirmed that William Hague (Foreign Secretary), Justine Thornton (fianceé of Labour Party Leader Ed Milliband), and Sheikha Mozah of Qatar have been pronounced dead at the scene.
Stones are falling from the buttresses of the South Door tower, and it is expected to collapse imminently.
More bodies have been recovered.
At T + 48 hours, the scale of the disaster is apparent: with the exception of a former Australian Olympic swimmer and a television comedian, everyone on the royal guest list is dead (along with over 700 onlookers, well-wishers, tourists, and emergency service workers crushed to death when the towers of the Abbey finally collapsed).
What are the consequences?
Over to you!