Back to: Book day! | Forward to: There is no extra credit in science fiction.

Unwanted Blogging Vacation

I am taking an (unasked-for) vacation from blogging to attend the bed of a close, elderly, family member who is dying. This is not unexpected, but death doesn't generally happen on a schedule and I've no way of knowing whether it is hours or days away at this point: so life for the rest of us is, perforce, on hold—and so are my blog updates.

(There may be some appearances, probably unheralded, by guest bloggers over the weeks ahead. Watch this space.)

39 Comments

| Leave a comment
2:

Been there recently myself. :-(

I hope the suffering and trauma is as minimal as possible, for all concerned.

Best wishes.

See you on the other side.

3:

Take care of yourself too. You're important, and you can't be of use to everyone else if you haven't slept or eaten for several days. I know this from experience. Ring for food deliveries if you can't get out to eat. They'll deliver anywhere, even in institutions. I just wish someone had said this to me, so I'm saying it to you.

Love and Hugs.

4:

My sympathies.

5:

Ouch. You have my sympathies and condolences.

Don't forget to look after the living as well as the dying. It's an emotional time, and some people deal with grief and loss by looking after everyone else while ignoring themselves. (Warning from the palliative care nurse when my father was dying. She was right.)

6:

Jedi hugs if you want them.

7:

Best wishes and hoping for optimal outcomes given the circumstances.

8:

Sympathies and condolences, and may their passing be as free from suffering as possible under the circumstances. I hope you get the chance to say farewell.

9:

My condolences, and my sympathies.

There is nothing to be offered in platitudes: all the comfort that there is, comes from the work of reassuring the dying - above all, from talking them through the fear and the guilt and the isolation - and the never-ending work of supporting the living.

That includes a bit of self-care, and a bit of time out, too.

10:

As someone who also earns my living with words, I find it odd that words, per se, don't seem to mean much in the way of comfort. But the knowledge that someone cares enough to send me a few words of consolation? Priceless, and an enormous source of strength in difficult times. (I say this, without meaning to one-up you in the "my mourning is worse than yours" category, having lost grandparents, my father, and a few far-too-young friends in recent years. I hope the words of your friends and fans provide that strength for you too.)

If time and circumstances permit, try to find private time to share any good things you've never quite found time to say over the years. And to the extent you can, forgive them any bad things you also haven't had time to bring up. Leaving good things unsaid can feel horrible; bringing up bad things as your final memory can leave a shadow that hangs over you for years.

11:

Charlie, stay safe and well within your own person. Make your best effort to give what you can to those around you. It's going to suck, but we are hoping for the best possible path for you in this crisis. I don't believe in mystical waves of love traveling through the aether. But I do believe in the material benefit to one's psyche of knowing there are people who care about your welfare. And I think many of us here genuinely do care. So all the best and keep walking your road for as long as it winds.

12:

Much sympathy to you and yours.

13:

Sorry to hear that. Take care of your loved one. But don't forget, now and then, to have a little care for yourself as well.

14:

I hope your loved one will have as easy, peaceful and pain free a passing as is possible.

15:

My condolences on your current situation. Take some time for self-care. We are all thinking of you and hoping for the best, whatever that may be in this situation.

16:

As always, our condolences and support. Take care. No rush, the gang'll still be here when you're ready.

17:

I'm sorry, Charlie. I more than know how it feels, having lost far too many people I cared about in my life.

If they are capable of communicating, please take the chance to ask them what you always meant to ask, and to tell them everything you never got around to telling them.

And tell them you love them.

18:

Not to add to your burden (reading or otherwise), but Maria Popova writes frequently, beautifully, and movingly about death and other important parts of life. You may find some comfort in her current essay (https://www.brainpickings.org/2017/07/10/adam-phillips-darwins-worms-life-death/) or in some of the related links at the end of this essay.

19:

Please accept my sympathy

20:

You have our sympathy and support. I hope everything goes as well as it can.

21:

I am sorry to hear it. Best wishes to you and yours in a difficult time.

22:

The only thing worse than witnessing the passing of a loved one is missing the opportunity to say goodbye. Please take what good you can out of a terrible situation.

23:

That is very sad. My best wishes to you and yours.

24:

My sympathies, I just lost a family member (who had been ill for some time) in April, so I know the feelings well.

25:

...words, per se, don't seem to mean much in the way of comfort. But the knowledge that someone cares enough to send me a few words of consolation? Priceless, and an enormous source of strength in difficult times.

This. There's nothing prose from far away can do to make things easier on you, but I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that people care about you and sympathize with what you're going through. You've got friends who care about what you're going through. (It's a quirk of the 21st century that some have never physically met you.) You don't have to worry about performing for the audience; we'll carry on while you attend to the important things.

26:

My sympathies.

27:

My sympathies as well. May their passing be gentle.

28:

Saw you announce your Dad's death on twitter. Sincere sympathy. If you choose to share any details we (your readers/fans) will pay close attention.

29:

Lovely week. On the other side of the world, Jordin Kare died yesterday. He'd had a bypass, I think, surgery that went pear-shaped last week.

I still object to a universe where people who cause grief stay on, and people we love and care about can't.

30:

Now, the infinitely dreary matter of "sweeping up" remains.
Good luck, take youyr time, talk to us - we will help if we can

31:

I just saw your twitter feed. I'm sorry for your loss.

32:

Just saw your Twitter note that it was your Dad. I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It's been 7 years since my father died, and it's still a rare week when there isn't something I want to call him to share.

34:

Have seen the news on twitter. Sympathy is offered even though words are lacking.

35:

I'm sorry to hear of your loss,
may his memory be a blessing.

36:

Much sympathy to you and your family.
I've nothing to say that wouldn't echo what others have said.

37:

Hey, if it's getting you down you could read a Stross novel that always...oh...

38:

I am so sorry to hear this. Losing a parent is always aweful. Take some time for yourself. A week at the beach (or wherever you like to go) would be great if you could manage it.

39:

Very sorry to hear of your loss. You have my sympathy and condolences.

Leave a comment

Here's the moderation policy. If this is your first time, please read it before you post.

If you need to sign in and want to create a local account on this blog, select "Movable Type" from the "Sign in ..." menu. You will need a working email address.

Specials

Merchandise

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Charlie Stross published on July 17, 2017 9:56 AM.

Book day! was the previous entry in this blog.

There is no extra credit in science fiction. is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Search this blog

Propaganda